


Just A Means To Start Again

by kellallyourfriends



Series: Pointlessly Short Oneshots [2]
Category: All Time Low, Pierce the Veil
Genre: Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-10 08:44:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10433874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kellallyourfriends/pseuds/kellallyourfriends
Summary: Vic's never gonna be the same again, not after what happened. Alex knows. Alex knows too well.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A sad Valex thing I did in school one day. I kinda want to make this into a longer story.

Numbly, Vic stumbled through the hallway, barely noticing its other inhabitants. They were all meaningless, just faces in a sea of static, and they had no idea how short-lived they were. They had ceased to matter to him, but he had to pretend otherwise, or else one of them would impose a meaningless consequence on him, and he would tell them they and their consequence were unimportant, but they wouldn't understand. They'd think he was being rude, when in reality he was only trying to help them realize.

He stopped watching when he reached the guys he called his friends. They were laughing, soft-faced Alex hardest of all, at something irrelevant. As they saw him and the pall he carried, they quickly sobered. Vic tried for a smile, catering to them.

"Hey, Vic! What's up?" greeted Alex, his eyes still somewhat aglow.

"Nothing much," Vic choked out. 

The other guys looked at him strangely. "Are you alright?" asked Jaime.

"Uh, yeah, I'm good," muttered Vic. Alex was staring at him. So was everyone else, but Alex was really staring, like he could tell Vic was lying. Vic found it disconcerting. 

The first bell rang, startling everyone except Vic. It was a good thirty seconds before he realized it had rung, and by that time everyone had run off to their first class.

Except Alex.

"What are you doing?" asked Vic. "I told you, I'm good." 

Alex grabbed his shoulder, pulled him in close, and whispered, "We'll talk later."

No, we won't, thought Vic, but shrugged it off anyway. "Sure. Whatever."

The other boy stood there, as though waiting. "Are...are you gonna go to class?"

"No," stated Vic, not expecting Alex to grab his hand and physically drag him to his first class the way he did.

"If you don't show up at the bus stop today after school," hissed Alex when they got to the classroom, "I'm going to miss my bus, search for you, haul your sorry ass out to the front of school, and we're going to walk two miles to my house together."

It wasn't a surprise when Alex found Vic at the bus stop almost immediately after the last bell had rung, leaning against the sign pole and smoking a cigarette.

"How'd you get here so fast?" asked Alex.

"Blew off last period," replied Vic bluntly.

Alex sighed and took the cigarette out of Vic's hand. "Don't do that again. And don't smoke, either. Do you want to die of cancer?"

Vic only rolled his eyes, leaned farther into the sign, and kept waiting.

When the bus finally showed up, he offered Alex his hand, allowing the other boy to drag him around. They sat at the back of the bus. For some reason, Alex felt it acceptable to put his arm around Vic's shoulders, pulling him close, forcing him to lean into Alex. Vic didn't exactly hate it, but he would've preferred to be left to his own devices.

Alex lived in a nice neighborhood, Vic observed, staring out the window. Immediately he stifled that observation. Meaningless. It was all meaningless. When Alex dies, it won't matter how nice his neighborhood was, Vic thought, just like it didn't matter how nice our neighborhood was.

The bus came to a stop, and Alex stood up much too quickly for Vic's liking and dragged him off. His hand was cold, a rarity in September. Cold, just like Mike's was.

They stopped in front of an unimportant house, and Alex said something, but Vic didn't care. Alex continued leading him to the house. up the front steps, through the door, and into the first room.

"My mom's not home yet," whispered Alex. "Sit down."

There was a couch in the room, which Alex directed Vic to. The two took seats next to each other, and Alex took Vic's hands.

"Tell me what happened."

Vic tried to pull away, but Alex's hands were strong. "How do you even know something happened?"

"I just do," said Alex. "Someone died."

Died. That word struck into Vic's soul, meaningless in his mind, but sharper than a thousand brand-new sewing needles from Alex's shapely lips. "You don't need to know," said Vic. "You wouldn't understand."

"I understand too fucking well, just tell me," rushed Alex.

"Fine!" shouted Vic, choking up. "It was my brother. Happy now, you little bitchsqealer? Are you fucking happy?"

Alex said nothing, only held Vic's hands as he struggled to keep his sudden burst of emotion away. Don't cry, thought Vic. Not in front of this fuck-boy. He'll laugh at me, he'll tell the whole school how much of a baby I am.

Finally, when Vic could stand it no longer, he jerked away from Alex and yelled, "Why am I still here? What do you want, bitch?" His voice cracked with the effort of hiding his sadness, but he didn't care. "You're gonna laugh at me? I don't give a fuck! I don't give a single fuck! Laugh, you asshole, go ahead!"

"Vic," said Alex, "are you going to cry?"

Vic was too distraught to speak. He wanted to spit in Alex's face, but he couldn't bring himself to, especially not since the other boy was being so calm.

"Come on," said Alex, putting an arm around Vic's shoulders and pulling him close, "cry. Cry all you need to. I couldn't judge."

Don't do it, screamed Vic's mind. But he couldn't help it, couldn't repress it any longer. He sank into Alex's oddly soft arms and sobbed, harder than he had in the hospital with Tony when he found out, possibly harder than Tony himself.

He couldn't tell what Alex was feeling, but the other boy didn't seem to mind, even tightening his embrace.

After a few moments, Vic relaxed, his cries dissipating into soft hiccups. 

"You alright?" murmured Alex, drawing away from Vic.

No, don't do that, thought Vic. Stay. He nodded to Alex, who smiled and kissed Vic's cheek.

Vic looked up at Alex, surprised. "I'm-I'm sorry," stammered Alex. "I-"

Vic cut him off with another kiss, this time on the lips.

It was Alex's turn to be surprised, but he didn't have much time for that, as Vic never thought about pulling away. His eyes were closed, and all gaps between him and Alex were filled. Good, he thought. He liked it better that way.

Alex's movements against Vic were strange, and a little awkward, but it didn't matter to Vic. He realized it must have been Alex's first time kissing a boy, and made a mental note to be nice to him. It was actually quite cute.

Vic somehow pressed closer to Alex, close enough to taste the other boy's mint chapstick. Dimly, he realized he didn't taste half as nice to Alex, more like cigarette smoke and tears. He could still feel them on his face. He was still crying? After this?

With a sudden sob, he yanked himself away from Alex and looked down. I'm so weak, I can't even kiss a cute boy without breaking down in tears, he thought.

Alex, unfazed, took Vic's hands yet again and pulled him in. "It's gonna be okay."

"No, it's not," muttered Vic.

"Doesn't feel like it now, but it will be," said Alex. "You won't ever get over it all the way. I'm still not over it. But you'll be okay."

"How would you know?" spat Vic.

"I was twelve," said Alex, his voice breaking slightly. "I've been where you are."

"Wh-what?"

"That's how I knew something was up," said Alex. "After it happened, I was just like you are now, but nobody kissed me."

"Was I that obvious?"

"Not to anyone who didn't know," said Alex. "So, basically only me."

"Are you..."

"Over it?" said Alex, and shook his head. "No. Amy I okay? Probably. And you'll be too."

Vic leaned into Alex. "Kiss me again and we'll talk later."


End file.
